Finding Your Own Approach, Or The Qualities of Soul in Creation

Have you ever felt drawn to a particular activity, yet when when actually stepping forward to do it, you hit blockages and derailments, leading to frustration and disappointment and you dropping the whole thing, deciding it isn't for you after all?

Or tried to learn a new skill, yet no matter how much time and energy you invest, you don't seem to be getting anywhere, making no real progress, while others around you seem to just easily sail ahead?

And you end up feeling stupid, worthless, a complete failure?

This is for you.

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It's not the activity, but finding your own approach

This is coming from my own experience; if you have browsed this website a bit, you may have come across the journey that lead me to Squiggles. In short: Art classes in secondary school taught me that I was very bad at drawing and painting. Yet the compulsion, the urge to create, kept coming back over and over. Never went anywhere, leaving me frustrated and in tears, at times, at my inability and stupidity.

That changed when, through a spontaneous exploration of a particular type of pen – brush pens, to be precise – I ended up with squiggles.

And creativity simply seemed to explode out of me, an endless flow of creation.

Some of these squiggles can be seen in the gallery – though that is just a small fraction and no where near all of them.

It continues to this day; every now and then something surges up, internally, and then a whole joyful explosion of squiggling happens.

And that is how I found my access to creating this way: by changing the name I gave it.

Words carry energy.

They carry weight.

They can be loaded, coming with fixed judgements learnt through growing up in this world.

Words have power.

You feel drawn to a particular activity, like drawing, like painting, but something blocks you from actually doing it?

Change your approach – change the word.

For me, drawing and painting still feel unbelievably heavy. They are such a weight I must drag forwards – and then all my energy goes into dragging that weight, instead of creation.

Squiggling, on the other hand, feels incredibly light, joyful, playful, unlimited, free.

Words have power.

Maybe it is not that the activity is not for you.

Maybe all you need is to know it by its True Name. And it will open itself to you.

It's not the skill, it's finding your own access

Or perhaps it is a skill you are trying to learn, to master even, yet no matter how much you practice, you're not getting anywhere.

Let me share my own experience with that.

When I finished secondary school, my English language skills were average at best.

It may be hard to believe, but no, English is not my first language – it is my second language, which I didn't start to learn until I began secondary school at ten-and-a-half years old (that and-a-half was very important!).

As I got older, well into my teens, there was an urge to be better at English. To be able to read books, to speak with people. Yet the mere thought of studying more gave me a headache, slowed me down, so I never did, and never got anywhere.

Then I enrolled at university, for English Literature. And in preparation, I read more books in English, which was, actually, a great way to become more familiar with the language, to learn how it flowed, how things are phrased.

Of course, I was reading mostly “popular fiction”, mysteries by Agatha Christie, the Harry Potter novels. Still, it helped.

But I actually only really began learning English – not through university, not any of the language classes I took, nor the translations we did: I learnt English when I fell into fanfiction, and then wanted to tell my own stories.

I learnt English when I began to write.

And suddenly it wasn't cramming vocab, but looking up a word over and over again because I kept forgetting it until it stuck. It was beating my head against those freaking grammar rules of tense and aspect, because I wanted my story to be good.

It wasn't about getting a good grade, or at least not in trouble with the teacher.

It was passion, fun, and sharing that fun with others.

Finding your approach ~ qualities that stir the soul

So. If there is a skill that you would love to acquire, yet the way you've been doing about it isn't working?

It's not because you're stupid. Or a failure.

It might be your approach.

Can you approach things in a different way?

What about the skill is it that fascinates you? That makes you want to learn?

How might you get exactly there, yet coming from a different direction?

Never mind if the “correct” way works for everyone else, apparently. The way English was taught at school seemed to work well for at least half the class!

Simply not for me.

No, my way is through playfulness, fun, lightness, through exploration and adventure.

If I can translate activities into these qualities? If I can find these in accessing a skill? My soul will fire up, and things will happen. Creation will happen.

So ask yourself ~ what are the qualities of an activity that you enjoy? Is it calmness in drawing? Freedom in singing? Power, strength, endurance or expression in dancing? Is it stillness, passion, lightness, balance, harmony, something else?

Because these are the qualities of your soul ~ the frequencies that come through most strongly.

So if you can find a way to lean into them, to amplify them ~ to translate any skill, any activity, into one or more of these qualities?

They might just show you the way forwards.

The way to your own approach.

It is karma ~ but how long will it define you?

Yes, in many cases the blockages, derailments and frustrations we experience in approaching a particular activity, in learning a new skill, are based on karma.

And maybe your approach is to work through the karma first, to unravel through, to clear all that rubbish out, and then step into creation.

It is possible that works for you.

It is not my approach. I would not keep beating my head against that inner-blockage-wall until it broke, if the soul's sparkling through wouldn't show me the way forward. Or maybe under. Or around?

I wouldn't keep unravelling, if I couldn't create at the same time.

Beside, I wouldn't know half the convolutions if I didn't try.

I wouldn't know just how deep the blockage around writing is, if I didn't keep trying to do it. If I didn't keep trying out different approaches.

And getting stuck. Over and over again. And frustrated. And self-judging. And … all that shitty stuff.

Today? Right now?

I changed the name. “Writing” is loaded ~ it comes with echoes of pain, being forced into a particular shape, not enough time, not clear enough, failure to communicate.

“Blogging”? Just as bad. Constriction, fear of not meeting others' expectations, being seen as failure.

“Journalling” does not work, either, or any form of it. It comes with weight, the sense of “chore”, of being graded and judged.

My approach? Cultivation Practice.

Just typing those two words opens all the constrictions inside. It feels so light, so playful, it feels like experimentation, trying out different things without need for an outcome, it is exploration and adventure and curiosity.

And so, as Cultivation Practice, I wrote this blog that is also a kind of journal.

So, yeah. The blockage might be karma.

But how long are you going to allow that to define you?

My blockage around writing was karmic. Massively so. Multi-layered, multi-lifetime, probably still more to unravel.

But unravelling it is. Through Cultivation Practice.

I changed the word, I changed the approach, and now the internal landscape is opening into something that simply was not possible before.

Also, a new for of expression, of creation.

It was never about the activity ~ it was about finding my own way forward.

Take ownership, make it yours

So where are you stuck? What activity is it that you would love to do more yet somehow just can't seem to find your way to? Which skill is proving to be challenging?

What life situation appears to be stuck?

What challenge in 3D are you facing?

And now might a changing of energy through using a different word open up a new approach?

Which qualities of your soul might you find in that situation that will carry you through?

Need support in untangling the situation? Would welcome a reflection? Get in touch! We'll figure out your way forward.

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