On Acceptance

Acceptance. It is one of the great concepts in many spiritual or religious traditions. Acceptance of what is, of the circumstances, of what you manifested.

As you walk the spiritual path in truth, it becomes one of your greatest tools, so to speak. The key to the doorway through disturbance, convolution, pain, and karma.

Yet the longer you walk the spiritual path, the more lower mind learns the concept; and the more it learns the concept of acceptance, the easier it becomes for identity to sneak in and try to manipulate acceptance towards its wishes and desires.

In other words: Are you working to truly accepting what is ~ or is the ego playing a game with itself?

are you playing the acceptance game?

Are you playing the Acceptance Game?

What do I mean by that?

Let's take a closer look at what is often happening energetically when people talk about working to accept what is.

Often when we speak of acceptance, of accepting what is, what we are actually doing is playing a game. On the surface of things, we do the work ~ we work to soften, to surrender, to accept.

Yet with the underlying, often unconscious, expectation that if we can just accept, then things will change.

Things will get better. The physical pain will go away. The feeling of being disconnected or worthless will go away. We will finally find the right partner, the right job, the perfect life circumstances.

It probably doesn't need to be said, but maybe it does, because – it's not going to work like that. Because as long as identity is playing the acceptance game, true acceptance cannot happen. Playing that game is saying to the Universe: Look, I'm doing what you want me to do, now you have to give me what I want.

Where is that coming from?

To me, that is an identity, attached to a particular outcome. Playing a game. Pretty much with itself.

Accepting What Is

So the invitation, when it comes to acceptance, is to go deeper ~ with crystal clear honesty. Look at how you approach the situation internally ~ and then feel what exactly is going on. Are you playing a game? Trying to strategise the desired outcome?

That is not a fault or a failure on your part. In fact, it is the opposite: You have uncovered a blockage in the way. Well done!

So, how to deal with that? How can we truly accept?

The first step, I would say, is what I described above: Feel inside and be really, truly, honest with yourself about what is actually happening internally.

And then ask the question: Does what is happening here look or feel like the Soul?

Remember, the soul does not have an opinion. The soul does not judge.

That, to me, is step two: To remind oneself that the soul does not have an opinion. That opens the perspective, allows the being to look beyond the narrowness of the circumstances to a bigger picture ~ beyond the limitations of judgements of all kinds, of the feeling of having failed, not being good enough, not Getting It Right, or whatever else that ugly little voice comes up with.

Now look again. Feel, again. What is it you are feeling, exactly? What is the sensation of that feeling? Where in the body does it sit?

This takes you right to step three and, I would say, true acceptance. For once you have that clarity and the bigger picture, the realisation of attachment or conditioning or even karma ~ it becomes possible to let go of the judgement of the situation, the circumstance, and the feeling you are having.

You can call it equalising with the feeling.

Or you can call it unconditional acceptance.

Acceptance of what is, be it pain, be it loneliness, be it isolation, be it hunger, be it fear of being homeless. Whatever it is. Unconditionally. Without any kind of underlying expectation that things will change. Or get better. Without any of that.

Without any need for that.

In that moment, the breakthrough can happen ~ there is openness, softness, surrender inside. The tightness can unravel. The being can shed the weight.

And sit in stillness and perfect acceptance.

Acceptance does not mean Anything Goes

Beware, though, of the other pitfall when it comes to acceptance, and that is acceptance of anything and everything.

Lower mind has learnt to accept unconditionally, and now applies this to everything: I have manifested this situation, now I must learn to accept it, find within myself the strength and courage and wisdom to accept this, too, because that is spiritually right.

Actually, it is not.

That is not unconditional acceptance ~ that is distortion.

Why so? Why would accepting what you manifested, in any situation, be a distortion?

Because you are not only acceptance. The soul has many qualities ~ and also boundaries.

We accept that the soul is sovereign. A sovereign soul will not simply accept anything and everything, simply because it manifested it.

A sovereign soul might inquire: Well, why is that situation here? Perhaps the invitation here is to express sovereignty ~ to set and hold a boundary. Perhaps the invitation here is to confront the situation ~ to apply the will and strength of the warrior to change it. Or perhaps the strength and balance of diplomacy, to unravel the situation that way, to find a way through towards greater harmony for all.

So the next time you find yourself in a challenging situation, inquire: Is acceptance invited here? Or change?

Turning Acceptance Inwards

There is one more aspect to acceptance that is well worth highlighting, and it is this:

In spiritual circles you will find it a universally acknowledged truth that everything in the external world is a reflection of the internal world.

Meaning everything around you is a reflection of you.

Yes, that challenging situation you are working towards accepting? That is a reflection of you, too. Or certainly a reflection of the configuration of your consciousness ~ or of one part of yourself.

And so as you work towards acceptance of a situation ~ you are also, in a way, working towards accepting that part of yourself.

Are you accepting yourself? Warts and distortions and all?

Or is there an acceptance game happening here, too ~ where you can only accept yourself when you are spiritually correct, loving and caring and helping others?

We probably all want to be accepted unconditionally, just as we are. Without needing to twist ourselves into pretzel-shapes of other people's expectations or requirements ~ or judgements.

Why would accepting you be any different when the accepting comes from your own self?

Can you accept yourself? Unconditionally?

Well, that's the invitation.

These are my thoughts on acceptance. What are yours?